Funny

Trump Proposes Lego Border Wall

Posted on by Justice

After his previous attempts at defending our border were literally ‘torn down’ by the Democrats, Trump is striking back with an even better plan. L.A.G was able to secure an exclusive interview with the former president to gain insight into his new approach.

Q: “What exactly is your plan for restoring the border wall?”

A: “Well, I have this great plan, and it’s going to keep America very safe. You know all the Mexicans, and other unsavory types that have been pouring across our sacred borders. Well, I was thinking, there’s one thing they all share in common; They don’t have shoes.”

Q: “All right, and how has this sudden revelation inspired you?”

A: “Well, to make America great again we also need to make America safe again. That’s something that sleepy Joe doesn’t know how to do. He lets these guys run barefoot across our border, and he welcomes them with shoes and a cellphone. So, I thought to myself, “That’s it, a very great plan that we can use to stop the coming hoards.””

Q: “Okay, how do you plan to achieve this?”

A: “Well, that’s where it comes down to the people. You see, we have to work as a team to stop the Democrats from ruining our country. This new plan will only work if all the real Americans are ready to stand up for freedom. Here’s how you can help to save our nation and our border. I am running for president, and you have to trust me, I know how to stop this. The thing is, we can’t let people like Ron De-sanctimonious get in our way. Today I’d like to call on my fellow Americans to walk with me down to the border. Here’s what we are going to do, we are going to grab all our Legos and walk down to the border where all the people are pouring through, and I’m going to walk down with you. Then we are going to pour out those Legos as our new border. As they run across into our country, they will be stopped by searing pain. This is how we, as true Americans, will stand up and make America great again.”

Following this interview Democrats responded by once again trying to ‘tear down’ the former president’s ideas. Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi explained: “Trump’s new plan for the wall is even less ethical than the last one, besides it’s a waste of good Legos that I could use to put a wall around my own house.” Other Democrats responded similarly.

Life Adventure Games is considering starting a fund to help support Trump in his efforts to once again secure our border. If you would be interested in donating new or used Legos to the cause of freedom, please let us know in the comments.

Drunk Joe Biden Makes A Good Decision

Posted on by Justice

September 16 2023:

Joe Biden was seen downing the contents of multiple cans of Bud-Light shortly before being asked to sign a new piece of legislation that would help to further destroy our economy.

The president then replied in a perfectly coherent sentence! He began to explain the shortcomings of the bill and why he had no choice but to veto it.

The bill, known as the “Send More Money to Ukraine and Our Democrat Buddies Act” would have served to spike our national debt even further. Much to our surprise, Biden was adamant that this bill would harm the economy and vetoed it, despite much pushback from his advisors.

Following the shocking event, the president’s BAC was tested and found to be at a record high.

Conservatives quickly responded by sending the president multiple cases of Bud-Light in order to help him make even more good decisions.

2023 Minecraft Mob Vote Leak

Posted on by Justice

A confidential information leak from Mojang studios may have revealed the mobs for next years mob vote. The following is a transcription from a conversation between the two lead designers from the Minecraft mob department. Names have been generated to help distinguish between the two speakers. “I’ve already decided upon the upcoming mob vote.” “Really, what is it Steve?” “Well Alex, its simple. I’ll take the two mobs we wanted from the last mob votes and give them a shot at redemption. Of course, we will still have the absolutely useless mob that no one would vote for in their right mind.” “But Steve, doesn’t that mob always win?” “Sure it normally does, but this mob is so stupid no one would possibly vote for it. I’ll send you an email with the concept sketches for the new mob, and the old ideas we’ll bring back.”

I called up a professional hacker and we managed to intercept the email. Only click the button if you are willing to assume risk for hacking and distribution of confidential information. Also, I would like to warn viewers that the information you see may be frustrating if not infuriating.

Mob 1

Mob Number 1.

The Glare is back with a second shot at entering the Minecraft universe. This handy mob will alert players if an area is dark enough for mobs to spawn.

Mob 2

Mob Number 2.

Welcome back the Iceologer, a crossover from Minecraft dungeons. This chilling mob will freeze you in your tracks with it’s powerful ice magic.

Mob 3

Mob Number 3.

Look at this adorable unicorn! “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!” This charming new mob does absolutely nothing, but hey, it’s squishy, and it’s made from wool, what could be better!

Genius: Elon Musk Selling Biden Repellent.

Posted on by Justice

Billionaire Elon Musk announced the release of his all new burnt hair perfume. Although it may seem absolutely useless, a recent study has confirmed that the unconventional perfume may actually be useful. Shaun Shmelberg with Scentopia magazine announced today that the Musk Burnt Hair perfume is an effective Biden repellent. “It turns out that the President is particularly disgusted by the smell of burnt hair. Using Elon’s new perfume is known to reduce the odds of being sniffed by Biden by 100%.” Once reporters discovered this new method of keeping the president out of their hair, sales boomed. Additionally, a large number of parents have been purchasing Musk’s perfume to protect their children from Biden’s hair sniffing antics.

Sniffer: A Likely Case Of Voter Fraud.

Posted on by Justice

First Joe Biden, and now the Sniffer. I just can’t take it anymore. It’s one thing to cheat in the presidential election, but it’s something totally different when you mess with Minecraft. Many Minecraft fans out there are asking just how the Sniffer stole the votes. Steve, a local Minecrafter, and a familiar face in the game said this during an interview. “Sure it’s cute, and absolutely the kinda thing I’d want in my house, but how did it beat the Rascal, or the Tuff Golem?” I’ve been around since they released the game and I’ve never seen anything more disappointing.” Steve then recalled how last year his vote for the Glare seemed to go by unnoticed as well.

“The Glare was going to save me. There are many times I walk into my house just to find out a Creeper spawned in my closet. I always forget to double check the light levels. But the Glare was going to stop all of that. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the results, and almost got blown up by another Creeper (This one from my snack room) when they announced the winner. I couldn’t believe it, who would have voted for the Allay, all it does is pick up my junk for me. I mean, sure, my yard looks nicer, but why?” Clearly many Minecraft fans have been disappointed by the results of the mob vote. Looking for a sneak peek at next year’s mob vote, prepare to be disappointed, by checking out our next post.

If Joe Biden Were To Give the Gettysburg Address

Posted on by Justice

Four years and seven years ago, our ancestors on this continent created a new nation dedicated to the proposition that they were conceived free and created equal for all men.

We are now waging a great civil war and testing whether this or that conceived and committed nation can last a long time. We are on the great battlefield of this war. We have come to dedicate a part of this sector as a final refuge for those who have sacrificed their lives here so that these people can live. It is perfectly appropriate and appropriate for us to do this.

But in a broader sense, we cannot offer this land, we cannot consecrate it, we cannot be sanctified. The brave, living and dead people who fought here dedicated themselves to making them much more distracted than our poor power. The world will write very little and will not remember what we are saying here for a long time, but we will never forget………………….

After forgetting the ending the
President could be seen running
off to sniff the editor.